We went out.
I mean to say, We Went Out!!!
My husband and I went to see a live show in our town on a Saturday night!
Not that we never get out these days...
We've made a big point of sticking to date night this year, and even taken some special trips in the last few months (Santa Barbara, Los Angeles) to celebrate his birthday and our anniversary.
Still, given the matter-of-fact way that most of our companions at the bar accepted being out of the house on a Saturday night after 9pm as though it was entirely commonplace, I feel like I should apply the Caps Lock key here:
WE WENT OUT!!!!!!
My husband and I went out on the town last night in full Halloween regalia to enjoy the first performance his old band has played in a long while.
The band.
Amazing how two little words can hold so much significance...
There is no question about it, that band changed both of our lives forever. I could write a book about my years with him while he was in the band; touring and performing at amazing venues. Meeting wonderful people. Connecting through the shared love of music along with shared angst and emotion.
They are a band that writes heartbreakingly beautiful music.
Their live show, though - what a show! It has always been jaw-droppingly good.
Over ten years have passed since I first heard them perform live.
My husband left the band seven years ago. Yet their music still moves me beyond words.
* * *
I am discovering, as we slowly but surely grow older, that musicianship only increases in those who are truly dedicated to their craft. Our musician friends, many of whom I've now known for ten to fifteen years, have continued to develop in their talent and instincts.
Like wine, they've actually gotten better with age.
I have to laugh when I see young rockstars are so adulated by their fans. Kids like Justin Bieber. The kid (who I have nothing against) may be idolized worldwide ~ but he's got *nothing* musically on my friends who, while potentially old enough to be his parents, have racked up decades of experience under their belts.
From what I can tell, time seasons musicians... takes their raw talent and hones it into something much better. They develop a tighter sound, deeper and fuller-bodied tone, and more of a passionate relationship with their music.
Maybe part of it is growing past the desperate urge young bands seem to share to "get signed" by a major record label.
Young bands (and I've known a few of them) seem so anxious... so driven. They're motivated by a lust for fame, a desire to play stadiums and conquer the world.
Young artists are often motivated by the desire to meet attractive people. Seasoned musicians know that kind of thing is merely a side benefit to their real joy in finding success and fulfillment doing something that they love.
Musicians that love their craft and continue working on it almost always get better with time.
I was blown away last night at how well our friends in the band (now edging toward their forties) are playing, singing, composing.
They sound just as good now as they ever did - possibly better. The sound is more nuanced. The lyrics have greater depth. Their cohesion as a performing group is now instinctual.
Faded are the plans for global domination (although they did have several phenomenal tours that spanned four countries).
The band members are mostly all married now. Some have children. One coaches his son's youth soccer team on Saturdays. These days we have daytime barbecues and hit-the-pinata birthday parties.
It would be safe to say that we've 'grown up'.
Yet ~ the music! Their wall of sound!
At night our hardworking friends morph from stable, settled contributing members of society to intensely devoted, wild-haired musicians.
They play with love. They play with virtuosity. They play with abandon.
They play now because they love to play. Not because they hope it will get them anywhere.
They play for fun. They play to give life real meaning. They play to create beauty, and to share that beauty with all of the rest of us that crave it.
* * *
My husband is now 37 years old, and I am nearly 36. In just two months, a full decade will have passed since we met one fateful evening at a bar.
Arguably, neither of us are as taut and chiseled as we used to be. He told one of our friends last night that having children has aged us, and it's true.
I think we bring something a lot more profound to experiencing live music now, though; something we had not yet cultivated ten years ago:
We bring gratitude.
We bring appreciation.
Ten years ago, going out on a Saturday night meant nothing to either of us. We both did it every week. Heck, we often went out four nights a week.
In those days we measured the success of an evening 'out' in terms of major milestones. A show had to be pretty mind-blowing for either of us to love it. A date had to be really earth-shaking to be memorable. A night on the town had to end with a kiss or a telephone number to feel like a success.
Even after we finally met and fell in love, we still took for granted our ability to go anywhere at any time, together.
Having children really put things in perspective for us though.
These days, we're happy if we've left the house in the same car on the weekend, even if it's just a quick trip to the grocery store.
So, getting the opportunity to
(a) dress up;
(b) go out;
(c) eat food we haven't cooked; and
(d) hear live music...
...it seems like almost more good luck than we can imagine having at one time!
Last night, we went out.
WE WENT OUT!!!!!!
My husband and I are both grateful beyond measure.
I guess our younger selves might have worried that we have settled into a life of low expectations.
But I say no.
I say our life is now doubly blessed.
These days, we don't take for granted a single chord or note. Not one.
We stand in the bar side by side, holding hands - listening and smiling. Like children hearing something beautiful for the very first time, we are simply amazed and delighted.
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