I want to dedicate this post to the value of taking big chances, which can be a risky endeavor.
About two months ago I began to describe in this blog my ardent desire to make a change for our family, both to support my husband in his desire to save money for a home of our own, and to find the right school environment for my sons... most especially the eldest son who is quite artistic and also quite shy.
The process of visiting many local area schools throughout our district, sitting in on classes and assessing neighborhood offerings was time consuming and a little pressured. I spent weeks exploring communities with my husband, crunching numbers and trying to figure out what we could afford. I looked into extracurricular programs, sports teams, local support for the arts. I drafted many spreadsheets showing pros and cons. In short, I threw all of my academic strengths into research that would actually affect our immediate future.
Once we had settled upon a neighborhood I dragged my husband and kids to see multiple homes, made appointments with realtors and checked Craigslist every ten to fifteen minutes until I found the listing for our current house, which had only just been posted moments before. Thankfully I was the first call (since they got over fifty interested parties) and I moved heaven, earth and our bank account to get a cashier's check into the hands of the property realtors before any other family.
That wasn't the hardest part. Packing up our home and encouraging my husband to see the benefits to our entire family of the move (he hates the actual process of moving) was really a challenge. We had a few weeks of strained conversations and then a few days of arduous physical labor as we dismantled one home, cleaned it, and had to re-establish ourselves in a new place that is over 1000 square feet smaller.
There were plenty of moments and days when I wiped sweat off of my forehead and prayed, wondering if I had done the right thing. Hoping that my gut feeling would pay off and that our children would be as happy in the new home-neighborhood-community as I'd felt they would be.
Yesterday, it all paid off.
At 2pm yesterday afternoon the younger children and I picked my son up from his tap dancing class to attend his first real "parent-teacher" conference at the new school.
This was a big deal for my son because he likes his new teacher very much and was hoping that she would feel happy with him as a student.
This was a big deal for me because I wanted to see the difference between this parent-teacher conference and the last two that I had experienced at his old school. Wherein, his former teacher first informed me that she didn't know him very well yet and then later told me (at the second conference) that he was a 'loner' who sort of beat to his own drum. She said she hadn't seen him play with any friend in particular and that he tended to be shy and introverted.
His old teacher gave him an average rating in all academic categories (no highs or lows) and had no samples of his work to share with me. She could not tell me a single story about him interacting with other kids in class. She said he was 'hard' to get to know. In short, the old conferences were a big disappointment - especially to a former educator like me who knows it is very easy for a committed teacher to develop a strong relationship with any kid in over five months.
I actually think these two conferences, coupled with my substitute work in the district, were the main reason why I was so motivated to look outside of that community for a better education for my kids. I don't care what the statistics say, that school may earn high test scores but it is surely due to the parents involved with their kids' education and NOT due to a sturdy academic standard of excellence.
All this to say that I was very eager/nervous to attend his conference yesterday at the new school to find out what (if any) difference there would be in what was said, or in how he was assessed by his new teacher.
This is the part of the blog post where birds are chirping in trees, bells are ringing, and an entire choir is singing "Hallelujah!"
When we entered the classroom my son's teacher set he and his brother and sister up with toys to play with. We then sat down at the small conference table in the rear of her colorful room and she took out a thick folder.
"I wasn't sure whether three weeks was technically a long enough enrollment period in the district to assess a student, but I decided to do a full assessment for him anyway," she explained.
Opening the folder she first pulled out a Standards-Based Report Card, showing his achievement in science, visual and performing arts, physical education, health, personal and citizenship skills, literacy (reading, writing, listening and speaking), mathematics and history.
The amazing part of this is that he actually HAS these kinds of classes now. He comes home weekly telling me stories about going to science lab, working in the computer lab, visiting the library lab, participating in intramural sports with kindergartners from other schools! He actually has an art class, a music class, etc. He has like eight teachers all working hard on his behalf and the difference is really showing through.
Happily, his teacher said that he is proficient in his work and growing daily as a writer. She described how he was eager to get started with his work, thoughtful about planning his stories, and active in group discussions and activities.
Eager? My kid? Really?
Yippeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She then began to pull out sample after sample of his work. I am holding the folder in my lap right now and there are easily twenty pages of writing work complete with hand drawn pictures, on lined paper. She explained to me that while his handwriting is poor and spelling still quite "invented", his ideas are strong and he is a very creative thinker. She said he can always read her his work and knows exactly what he was talking about. She even gave a specific example of one day in which he listened to a recording about planets and then wrote five more paragraphs than most of the kids in the class.
(This is the same kid that struggled putting more than a sentence on paper just a month ago!)
Here is one of the many stories she handed to me from his folder. I just about cried:
"I LOVE TO PLA WIF GRAM CASSCE
(I love to play with Grandma Cassie) /
WE GO TO THE ISCEN
(We go to the ocean) /
WE GIT SUM SHOCLIT ISCEM
(We get some chocolate ice cream) /
WE GO BAC TO MI GAMUS HAOOS
(We go back to my grandma's house) /
WE AT ERA ISCEM IN DIN WE BUDHT SUM LAGOLZ
(We eat our ice cream and then we build some Legos)"
This five sentence story took up two pages and was illustrated with the cutest pictures of blue stick figures eating ice cream.
"As you can see," she said, "He really knows what he wants to say."
I was most interested to find out how my son was doing socially... was he making friends? Was he getting along with his peers? Was he shy? Was he a "loner" as the last teacher described?
Rather than asking outright though, I waited to see what she would say.
"Your son has made a really smooth transition into our school," she smiled. "He is well behaved and confident, and seems to get along very well with the students in our class. He has made many friends already. He does not act out but he is not shy or withdrawn as many new students tend to be. He has been a great addition to our class."
I could have hugged the woman on the spot, or jumped on the table and performed a Tom Cruise style happy dance.
SHE SAYS MY SON IS CONFIDENT!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!
This just validated everything I have seen in the past month... the slow but steady decrease in tantrums (they still take my breath away at times, but we're working on it!)... his eagerness to go to school each day, the way children call out to him when we are walking on the street or in the park or at the library to say hello. The way he has told me that he has a new best friend (another girl, bless his heart) and that he is friends with "almost all the persons in my class, mommy".
Needless to say I left the teacher's classroom with my three kiddos pretty much walking on air. My shy, sad son is BLOOMING! He is becoming a new and improved version of himself... the self that may have been trapped beneath his feelings of sorrow and frustration at the old school. It's like he's been given an entirely new lease on life and friendships... and most importantly, on the way he sees himself.
Happily, his new teacher and I are not the only ones that see the way in which he is opening up to the world. My husband and his parents and my mother have all noticed and commented on how happy he seems (when he isn't torturing his brother) and that they think he is really thriving these days.
I feel like we took a big risk to make this sea change in our lives, which could have gone either way. If the new schools or community were a tough transition, I would have had a lot of apologizing to do to my husband and children.
So I'm feeling uber-thankful that in this instance, the risk turned out to be justified. My huge reward is the smile on his face every afternoon when I pick him up from school and ask,
"How was your day?"
"It was great," he consistently replies... "I like the kids and my teacher. I had a good time."
(Me: happy dance happy dance happy dance)
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