Sometimes I yearn for family life in a sitcom television show, where the other characters notice if I do something special like clean the house - and an entire audience erupts in laughter when I make a diaper joke. It's been a long time since I regularly watched sitcom television but I still remember the "Must See TV" NBC lineup of my childhood - The Cosby Show, Family Ties and Cheers - where each episode revolved around the small but meaningful details of friendships, relationships and dreams (both the kind that came true, and the kind that didn't).
My parents were big fans of Bill Cosby and the Cosby Show... I think my father bought every humorous book that Cosby ever authored (his favorite was "Fatherhood") and modeled his vision of what our own family unit should be like based upon the courtesy and dignity shown by the Huxtable children to their parents in that television show.
So there we were ~ an educated, solidly middle class liberal Caucasian family walking in the footsteps of an educated, affluent African American television family. I was a little bit too old to identify with Rudy Huxtable, the youngest daughter... but I always looked up to my big brothers and sister just like she looked up to her siblings, and I secretly wished that my father delivered babies for a living.
The thing that was so great about this TV family, at least from the rear view of my memory, was the way in which they loved each other so vastly and appreciated each other so warmly. Episodes might focus on honesty, fairness, health or mutual respect but the underlying theme of each one generally came across as 'How can we love each other even better than we already do?'
If my childhood home was modeled on The Cosby Show, I shudder to imagine which modern day sitcom my own nuclear family unit most resembles. Possibly The Simpsons? The Family Guy? What show in today's lineup features three emotive kids who are chronically screaming and fighting with each other, an eccentric-brilliant-adorable dad who pops in and out of the storyline when he's not busy inventing something, and a careworn mother who sometimes sits down in the middle of chaos and just laughs and laughs - so as not to cry.
The Brady Bunch we're not.
The script for tonight's episode of our real family life would probably have been titled, "Welcome Home" and revolved around the return of my husband and son from their four day adventure in Georgia.
Choice moments would have included:
- Discovery upon driving toward the airport terminal that its entire parking lot is now a construction site and so it is necessary to park at a different terminal several city blocks away and run with the stroller to meet the flight
- Running to meet the flight only to learn that it has been delayed by an hour
- Entertaining two children under the age of 4 for a loooooonnnnnggg time in an airport "Arrivals" terminal with no windows in the waiting area from which to watch the airplanes (and no gift shop!!!)
- Brief happy reunion before tired, hungry children begin to melt down
- The two year old daughter breaks into loud, zesty screams every time her daddy leaves her range of vision - as if to say, 'You can't ever leave me again!'
- Children insist upon steak tacos for take-out dinner. We order steak tacos. Children refuse to eat their steak tacos because they are "too yucky". (Parents say, "Fine - Guess what's for lunch tomorrow!?!")
- Massively tired bigger brother decides that the three Hot Wheels trucks his younger brother bought at a thrift store for $2 while he was gone are "better" than his entire 4 day trip to Georgia with Daddy. Tries to take them away by force. Begins to sob, yell and hit.
- The little sister escapes four times from her bedroom at bedtime, scampering down the hallway giggling each time. Her father scratches his head quizzically, wondering aloud, "How does she keep doing that?" and putting her back to bed. (The mother catches her older brothers opening the gate for her.)
- Bigger brother falls asleep, literally mid-scream (as soon as his head touches the pillow).
- The daddy also falls asleep, while reading to his younger children.
- The mommy realizes that her entire family has conked out and once again, she's alone washing dishes. She reaches for her journal/remote control/laptop/book and exhales
Would Clair Huxtable (the mother) have laughed and kissed Cliff (the father) on his head when she discovered him sound asleep in the middle of two young children who were still awake and playing on the bed next to him?
What sentimental but not syrupy-sweet revelation could I have shared with the live studio audience at the close of the episode, about the more realistic joys of having a family?
Sometimes I wonder if any family out there is as truly happy and blessedly innocent as they make us believe in situation comedies. We all have our *stuff*, this I know. Every family has their own unique set of issues - most of which the rest of us never see or hear about, unless there is a sudden death or divorce and their private matters spill into the public.
Is there a real family anywhere that is just perfectly, genuinely contented? Where their real life is just exactly as loving, calm and funny as it might seem on sitcom television? Or, do most of our lives more closely resemble Reality TV shows like Survivor where the only way to make it through to the end is to vote people off your island?
Given that the only life or family I'll ever experience is the one I have, I'll probably never know the true answer to that question.
Despite how far removed our own home life may be from perfection though, it still contains so many spontaneous 'lines' and moments that no scriptwriter could ever equal. For example, the following from my three year old today:
"Mommy, I just feel so grateful to be here with you right now. I love you so much."
"Um, wow - honey. Thank you. Why are you saying that?" (Suspicious...) "Is there something you're wanting from mommy?"
"No mommy. I don't need anything. I just like it when we spend time together. I wish you would stop cleaning and play with me."
"Oh buddy. I'll be done in just a second. What would you like to play?"
"Cars! You can be the purple car and I'll be the News Truck."
"Awesome. I love it when I get to be the purple car."
"That is because you are my purple princess, mommy... and I am your prince."
He wrapped his little arms around my knees and hugged me hard. No TV writer could ever have fashioned a sweeter moment.
* * * * *
So there you have it. I don't live in a sitcom... but thanks to my small son it turns out that I'm already the heroine of a real-life fairy tale, which is pretty darn fantastic.
Perhaps we're on our way to 'happily ever after' after all.
No comments:
Post a Comment