Remember him?
He's gotten a lot of 'page time' in this 365 blog over the past eleven months.
I've tried to be honest along the way, even during the episodes when we weren't at our finest as a family.
This post, for example, chronicled my despair during one of the darker moments we shared earlier in the year.
All the while, I have told him the truth:
That I am keeping a blog about our lives. That I am writing it for him, and his siblings. That it tells everything ~ both the good and the bad. "It will be a candid snapshot of our family," I've said, "Warts and all."
I will admit though that I always hoped, even during our very hardest times, that eventually this year would come to stand as a turning point in our family dynamic. A transition, slow and steady, during which our son really came into his own.
Dyed-in-the-wool optimist that I am, I have been hoping all along for a genuinely happy ending.
"I know he can do it," I confided in my husband last Spring. "I just wish I could make the process of growth less painful for him. I wish I could make the whole thing more comfortable - for all of us."
"He'll make it," my husband assured me. "He's going to be fine."
* * *
As the year progressed, little by little, it became clear that many good things WERE quietly happening with our eldest son.
We moved to a new community and a new school.
Our son, who had been described by his first kindergarten teacher as a 'loner' who was 'hard to get to know' began to come out of his shell at school. His new kindergarten teacher, a jewel of a woman, brought out the best in him right away.
"I love school," he told me one day.
That was a great moment.
As the year progressed, he made a handful of good friends... and kept in touch with the best friend who had moved home to Australia. He began to feel more comfortable in his skin; appreciated; contented.
During the summertime, our son grappled with the intensity of watching his younger brother seriously injured - and the feelings of frustration and even jealousy that arose when watching that same brother lavished with attention during the healing process.
"I just wish it was over," our six year old confided. "I wish we could go back to the way things used to be."
Still, watching his little brother go through a serious medical crisis changed the way our son treated his siblings. He learned to restrain his temper. He'd developed a deeper understanding of the potential consequences of using sudden violent force (even simply to slam a door).
I believe (although I don't have actual evidence to back it up... it's just a feeling...) that my son also realized during those eight precarious weeks when his brother fought injury and infection, that he actually loves his little brother. Sure he may find him pretty annoying a lot of the time; but deep down, he doesn't want to lose him.
By the start of September we'd entered a new chapter, a new school year.
The six year old returned to school invigorated. He was ready to learn, excited to spend time with friends, joyous to get some freedom and independence from the family.
Happily, the past two months have been pretty awesome. He lucked out and got a great teacher... someone experienced and kind, who sees the best in him.
He played a third season of soccer and wowed his new coach and teammates by his initially-unexpected precision and ferocity on the soccer field.
His dancing has continued to bring him joy, and at the weekly classes his teacher tells me that he is improving and putting his heart into learning.
He's even made a few more good friends, despite his essentially shy nature. "Your son walks around with the biggest smile on his face at school," another mother has confided in me.
I myself watch him skip to class and can't help grinning. He gets the skipping gene from me.
Essentially, our son is enjoying a great Fall.
Two weeks ago, my husband and I received a short email from our son's first grade teacher.
"Your son will be honored at an award ceremony on November 16th," it read. "I hope you will be able to join us at the assembly."
"I am?" our son responded when we told him the good news. "I'm getting an award?"
"You sure are, buddy."
"Well I'm not going to tell the other kids in class," he replied. "It isn't nice to brag about that kind of thing."
"That's fine," I responded. "But is it okay if mommy feels proud and brags a little? I want to tell Grandma."
"Okay," he nodded thoughtfully. "Grandma is fine."
* * *
Obviously though, I'm sharing our son's good news with more people than grandma.
I know this is only one experience... one day in the course of a year. I know that many other days have contained many other kinds of episodes... and our 365 days aren't even up yet.
But you know what? I'm claiming it!
I'm claiming his happy ending.
I love our six year old son so much, and he deserves to be known for the best of who he is - and not just the weaker moments. He deserves to know how much good his father and I see in him.
Our boy is growing and maturing so much. He shows such kindness and maturity when helping to care for his little sister. Despite their lifelong rivalry, these days I find him more often than not teaching his little brother how to play games on the computer, or showing him how to do math. There has been more sharing than fighting.
My husband and I have not visited our family's play therapist much lately, because we haven't needed her. Our children are actually getting along for the most part. We seem to have weathered the worst part of this year's storm.
Everyone deserves the chance for a new beginning, and I feel that our son has really made the most of his fresh start.
It makes sense that as he has grown more successful and fulfilled in life, he has become a kinder and gentler person. Loud and rambunctious yes, full of life ~ just like his siblings, but kind and gentle too.
I thought it would be fitting then to include here the words written by my son's teacher to commemorate the award he received on stage today in front of the entire school. Her paragraph - included on the back side of his award certificate - shows our son at his best... as he is seen by those who know him for who he is NOW, rather than who he was a few months or years ago.
So here it is... that happy ending I dreamt of back in February:
ALL AROUND GREAT BOY AWARD
"He is full of talent, intelligence, kindness and fun. He works magic in math, is an insightful reader and just excels in every area. He also has a warm smile to share with his friends!!!"
What a lovely sentiment. How could any parent not burst with pride and joy to hear their kid appreciated so warmly!
For our son though, I have this to add...
Your Dad and I are so proud of you, and not simply because you were honored with an award today by your teacher. The award is very nice, but what your Dad and I are really proud of is how hard you've worked in every part of your life to be the best of who you are... rising to meet every challenge.
Your dedication and commitment show these days in everything you do - from bike riding to reading books to your sister. We are just thrilled to watch you grow into the fine young man, true friend and loving brother you are becoming with every passing day.
You are a once-in-a-lifetime son and an amazing human being. Daddy and I feel really, truly lucky to be your parents. We love you very much, sweetheart.
The (Happy) End.
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