I have to be so careful with my thoughts.
Right now, my four year old son is running a fever for the second time in nine days and it would be so easy to blog, yet again, about the anxiety that strikes at any mother's heart when her child is under the weather.
Yet I've made a commitment to follow the teachings of the Law of Attraction and I realize that my focusing on his health is unlikely to either (a) make him healthier, or (b) make me healthier.
Not that I'm taking it lightly. The instant I realized that he was feverish again, I was on the phone to the pediatrician's office... and they kindly squeezed us in to see his doctor tomorrow afternoon to check his lungs.
For now then, there isn't much to be done. He's sleeping relatively peacefully in my bed flanked by his favorite Star Wars spaceship on one side and a sippy cup of water on the other. He's been coddled and read to, loved and given reassurance and good night hugs and kisses.
At this moment, the only thing left for me to do would (typically) be to worry about him.
I love this kid with my whole heart - but this time, I'm not going to worry.
The Law of Attraction says that by fixating on things we give them our energy and we may even draw them to us ~ either by yearning for them or by yearning NOT to have them.
The lesson is to find a "downstream thought" - a place you can focus on that brings relief, where you can allow positive things to flow into your life instead of paddling upstream trying to solve all problems by yourself.
Even if you don't buy into the whole Law of Attraction thing, from a purely stress based level it makes sense to relax yourself during a crisis and stay calm. When your body is less tense or uptight, it is more likely to heal ~ and your brain more likely to think clearly. There are lots of scientific studies to back that up.
My little son and I are closely connected to each other, and when he feels me worrying or stressed out, I have noticed that he worries more too. "It's okay, mommy," he consoles me, "I'm going to be okay..." but his little brow furrows and he grows paler with darker circles under his eyes.
This is almost like when your toddler stumbles in front of you and looks immediately to your face in order to assess just how "hurt" they actually are. My kid looks to me to know how sick he is, and when I worry, he feels sicker.
So, by bringing myself to a more peaceful place - I not only empower my own body to stay healthier - I manage also to create a more restful and relaxing atmosphere for my son to heal in. What blesses one, blesses all - as my mother would say.
With this in mind, I treated tonight as a normal evening. We had stories and baths, I didn't get hysterical about my son not eating dinner but just encouraged him to drink fluids. We did our "happy thoughts" before bedtime.
Now that my three children are sleeping, it's time for me to seek out some nice "downstream thoughts"; ideas that will rest my mind and bring me to a place of relief from the stress of my day... which involved much scrubbing and cleaning, multiple hours of driving/chauffeuring around children, swimming lessons, taking the kids out for burritos (which weirdly made them cranky, rather than happy) and lastly dealing with his unexpected illness.
What are my downstream thoughts, I have to ask myself? What feels good to think about right now? Well...
- There is a book I've recently read about on CNN.com that sounds really interesting, and I made a mental note to either find it at the library or buy a paperback copy. Author Laura Munson chronicles a challenging time for her family and how she handled it ("This Is Not The Story You Think It Is"). I'm always excited about a good read, especially when it tells the true story of a wife and mother around my age...
- Cars 2 the movie comes out this weekend and I can't wait to take my kids to see it! I've been planning to make it a real holiday outing complete with ice cream from Cold Stone, yay! The love of movies is something that everyone in our family shares, even my husband, and he's going to join us for the festivities - which should be really fun! Even though this one hasn't gotten the rave reviews of the original, my kids are going to love it and I'm sure we will too.
- In other good news, I found a backup babysitter today! Our great sitter from the local college returned home for the Summer, and we've been missing date night... plus I need some quiet hours to write content which is hard to do with three kids at home. Today I got the inspiration to email our sitter and ask if she had any trusted local friends who might want to sit for us. Within an hour, I'd heard from one of her friends who sounds fantastic - and she'll be coming next week to meet the kids! So that is awesome!
- Our two year old has suddenly begun to talk up a storm, and is now using words like "princess" and "downtown". Best of all, I'm actually understanding most of what she says - and she is speaking in complete sentences! (E.g. "Mommy I'm hungry. I want yummy cake and pretzels!" LOL!) So, all of those long months of her *not* talking turned out to be simply her way of observing and preparing to participate. Now that she's actually talking, I'm laughing all of the time at her sassy sense of humor.
- My husband and I may actually be going out of town for an entire weekend later this Summer - our first time away from the children in three years. Count them... THREE years. I am soooo excited to spend 48 hours feeling "young" and having fun, relaxed in the knowledge that they are in great hands with their grandparents. We might even be able to sleep in on one of those days! Wonderful!
- The student I just tutored intensively over the past week to help him through finals ACED his work and was told that his oral presentation was the "best" of the day. So awesome! He's come a long, long way in six weeks and I am so proud of him.
These are all positive, downstream, peaceful thoughts which, the longer I focus on them, make me feel a lot more 'chill' and calm than I might normally be at a time when one of my children is hurting.
Obviously this doesn't change the fact that I'll be checking on my son all night long. To be perfectly honest, it doesn't yet come easily to me to look for the positive thoughts. Even now I can feel my gut churning a little, trying to tear my focus away from good things and plunge me back into worry.
But deep down, I do believe that *choosing* to focus on all that is good in our lives can only help, not harm.
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