With a radiantly happy guy on my arm and three cheery kids, it really felt like a birthday celebration for everyone. We had a great time!
Today is Sunday, the hallowed day of rest I gratefully receive from my husband at the end of my long weeks with the children - bless his heart.
I could have slept in this morning but the sun is bright and somehow, despite how tired I've been recently, it felt right to jump out of bed and get a head start on the day ~ especially because this is MY day, a day where I can do whatever I feel like doing. I don't want to miss a second!
Sitting down to write, I realized how different my mental state is when I write on Sundays... so peaceful, contented, optimistic and grateful. Looking back through my Sunday posts, they tend to be sweeter and written in a different tone. Less anxious, more delighted!
I'm not a rocket scientist but it seems clear to me that sheer exhaustion plays a real role in how our life unfolds at any given time and how I perceive it. My "sleepy goggles" make everything look much bleaker than it really is; vs the well rested times when life feels pretty darn good.
Today I am laughing out loud over an incident that yesterday felt tragically stupid and frustrating.
Our daughter had awakened seven times (yes, 7!) throughout the night due to hunger, thirst, and the desire to sing (yes, sing!) to her brothers about food while they slept. Each time I heard her jumping on her bed or waddling across the bedroom to try to rouse them, I raced to get her back to bed before she awoke the entire family.
This made a fun game for her, and I'll admit it - she won. She had me up hourly until about 5am. In the end she got to snuggle in our bed with Daddy as I crumpled into a nauseous, dizzy pile on the guest room bed and prayed for more sleep which never came.
Thus I, bleary-eyed and exhausted, was just trying to make it through yesterday morning until naptime.
We were on our way to visit my mom and brother, giving my husband some peace and quiet to get work done on his own personal day, when my sons began arguing with each other - for the millionth time of the morning - in the back of the car I was driving.
"Knock it off, guys!" I'd snapped, forgetting to turn my head to check out my blind spot when backing up.
BANG!
Yes, in a feat of total genius and dexterity, I'd managed to ram our Nissan Pathfinder into the side of our own Toyota truck as I backed out of our driveway.
My husband heard the crash and ran out of the house, laughing, to inspect the damage.
"Did you really just hit our car?" he giggled, as he saw the back of our Toyota which - thanks to its excellent steel bumper - was intact and only mildly scraped up.
(What a sweetheart for taking it that way.)
Inspecting the damage to the Pathfinder, I responded by bursting into tears. Its own plastic bumper was totally crushed in on one side, and I know from past situations that will run us upward of $1000 to repair.
"I'm so sorry," I wept.
"Oh hon," he consoled, "You're SO tired. You really need some sleep. It's okay ~ thankfully nobody else was involved in the accident and the car you hit is OURS. Don't worry. I'm not mad."
I cried harder. He was so nice about the whole thing, I felt even worse for letting him down.
Eventually the kids and I made our way to grandma's house, safely, and ultimately I did get some sleep. Not as much as I need, but enough to function.
Today the sun is shining and the world looks brand new. My crushed car debacle seems pretty harmless and wryly funny. In the end it's just one more bill we'll have to figure out how to pay, but no serious damage to anything that matters.
After partying with much dinner and dessert until late in the evening, our two year old daughter finally fell sound asleep and actually slept through the entire night.
When she called out "Mama!" this morning at 6am, I couldn't help but smile to see her cheery little face waiting at the baby gate. "I'm hungeeee!" she sang and danced, and this time, her serenade seemed adorable.
It's amazing how much better everything looks when you're better rested!
Today I may actually sing and dance and jump around the house with her :-)
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