Have you ever watched a three or five year old eat ice cream? For those who have not, here is a brief play-by-play of what it the process may look like... at least in our family:
Eyes like saucers looking into the freezer case, especially if we are at an actual ice cream parlor. Anticipation of the sweetness ahead is emotionally overwhelming. Drooling may be involved.
Anxiety ~ jumping up and down, wringing of hands, looking at all of the flavors. “I want strawberry! No, I want chocolate! No, I want coconut-peanutbutter-cheesecake AND strawberry!”
Hope! “Can I get two scoops? Can I get two scoops and rainbow sprinkles? Can I get two scoops, rainbow sprinkles AND a big cone?”
Manipulation: “Pleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaase?” (Big huge cherubic smiles.)
Joy!!!! The child, once handed the much desired ice cream cone - typically pared down by parents to a single scoop in a cup or enhanced by chuckling grandparents to four scoops with extra chocolate sauce for good measure - does take a moment to gaze upon it lovingly before diving in.
Intense focus... there is no other way to put it. Even the most hyper and frenzied little one will focus with absolute concentration on the actual eating of an ice cream. With all of their senses heightened, this is a process that involves sight, smell, touch and taste. Soon, the ice cream in the cup will be gone - because 30% of it will now live on their cheeks, chin, hands, arms and t-shirts.
Sating: For at least a few seconds after ingesting masses of cool, delicious ice cream, there will be a feeling of intense satisfaction and fulfillment. Unfortunately, this bliss typically lasts for only a brief period until it is replaced by either an intensified yearning for more sweetness or (depending on how big the ice cream treat) possibly sick tummies and a grumpy sugar-low..
Renewed desire ~ The memory of this frozen pleasure will not soon be forgotten. In the future (for some children like mine, it will actually be less than five minutes in the future) the renewed quest for ice cream may be even more urgent, based upon recollections of its sheer sensual delights.
While adults may routinely seek out other kinds of gratification for their cravings, there is no doubt about the fact that yearning for and appreciating pleasure is one of the most fundamental parts of being human. Without the memory of pleasure, humans might not try quite so hard to keep on going in the face of adversity. Let’s face it, even most grown-ups find temporary relief and contentment in an ice cream cone. There is a reason for the cliche about downing gallons of ice cream (or a few beers) after a rough breakup or a long day at the office.
The enjoyment of pleasure is a fairly universal thing for people and I think it is fair to say that it begins at birth. Even infants are keenly aware of the sights, sounds, smells, tastes and physical sensations they encounter as the world unfolds before them. It would be interesting to learn whether babies experience pain or pleasure first as they embark on their human journey. Perhaps the two sensations are so intricately bound, it is difficult for them to know where one sense begins and the other ends.
For each of us certain senses have more value than others. My husband loves to see the world from a bicycle. Similarly, one of my three brothers loves to surf and fish more than anything. All of these activities engage sight and movement. My son loves to sing and dance, which involves a lot of sound. I myself am crazy for music. The bottom line though is that sensuality and pleasure are key parts of human existence, and our common enjoyment of certain activities ~ like sleeping in late, indulging in dessert, listening to a cat purr, going for a long run, giving or receiving a hug ~ connects us to every other human on a core level.
The common language of pleasure reminds me of an article I read once about the movie Pulp Fiction. When it was released in France, it was apparently met with bewilderment and silence due to its graphic, over-the-top violence. The reviewer from a major newspaper wrote that during the few scenes of romantic intimacy in the film there was an audible sigh of relief among the French audience as if to say, “Ah... sex. At last, something we understand.”
(Speaking of which... in my early twenties my friends and I once engaged in a lively discussion about which pleasure we would give up if we had to choose ~ between having food or having sex for the rest of our lives... but not both. We had a lot of fun analyzing the merits of each choice... but in the end most of us ultimately concluded that we would probably have to go with food because without sustenance, life wouldn’t last very long... therefore there wouldn’t really be that much sex to be had. But I digress...)
Some cultures have historically embraced pleasure as an ideal (Rome) while others have frowned upon it as sinful (Puritans). Pleasure and its role in society remains a hot topic globally. It even made a big splash in the American Declaration of Independence, which cites “the pursuit of happiness” right after life and liberty as one of our most crucial rights.
I don’t necessarily believe that the central goal of life is to achieve pleasure... but I do believe that we are meant to experience, appreciate and truly rejoice in our senses. May this day come to you brimming with pleasures big and small, and may you forever eat ice cream with the passionate devotion of a child.
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