February 24, 2011 ~ Day 77 A Date With The Boys

When we became parents nearly six years ago my husband and I figured out pretty quickly that we were better spouses to each other and better parents to our children if we each got a certain amount of 'personal' time during the week to maintain the hobbies, interests and friendships that we'd nurtured before turning into "mom" and "dad".

In practice this turned into a divided weekend... time on Saturday for my husband, time on Sunday for myself. (When lucky, there is a little time for us to spend time with each other in the evenings ~ sometimes for a date night.)

I chose to have Sunday as my personal day so that I could embrace the M-F grind each week with the most positive and refreshed attitude possible.

Typically on a Saturday my husband spends several hours enjoying the great outdoors from the seat of his bicycle, sometimes biking alone and other times joining up with friends or even cycling groups. He is quite an incredible athlete, actually, and can put in a 30 mile ride in a few hours without much effort. Once he returns he then often spends the rest of the day programming code for one of his websites while listening to really good music. After a day devoted to cycling and getting extra work off of his plate, he's ready for Sunday with the kids.

We are blessed to live in a city that boasts a mild climate year-round, so my husband is able to adhere to this routine at least 48 weeks out of the year. Occasionally though, the weather does not comply with his drive to exercise... and today was one of those days. Intermittently rainy and very cold (it is hailing as I type this!) today was definitely not ideal for cycling.

Unfortunately the very same weather that kept my husband home from his favorite activity obliged me to keep our little boys in the house this morning as well. The new back yard is a sea of mud and muck (although our trees and bushes seem quite exuberant about the moisture).

As you may imagine, little boys do not like being cooped up in small enclosed spaces any more than big ones do. By mid-morning, our home was almost unbearably loud and chaotic - full of dramatic tantrums punctuating an endless game of "chase" around the house.

My husband gave me the look that says, "If it doesn't get calmer in here soon I'm going to have to leave and go to work at the library," and I made the command decision that it was time for a date.

A date with mommy!

"Hey boys," I called. "How would you feel about going to lunch and a movie?"

"YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" they cried, and came running.

"What movie?"

"Where are we having lunch?"

"How soon can we go?"

"What should I wear?"

"I love dates!"


My husband graciously agreed to watch our daughter (who was due for naptime anyway) while I took the little rapscallions with me into the great big rainy world.

After a quick consultation with Yahoo! movies, we determined that there was only ONE movie currently playing in theaters that was Rated G. "Gnomeo and Juliet it is!" I declared, and my boys clamored to watch the preview to make sure that it wouldn't be TOO SCARY!!! ~ as they had determined both Tangled and Despicable Me to be.

Thankfully it is very hard (even for a three year old) to be frightened of a cartoon garden gnome. (He did manage to get frightened of the gnomes... but that wasn't until much later.) Giggling gleefully then, the boys allowed themselves to be dressed in layers and strapped into their car seats. "DATE! DATE! DATE! DATE!" they chanted as I raced around trying to find my own purse, keys, cell phone and jacket.

At last we were off on our way, headed for adventure. Unfortunately the actual drive between home and ADVENTURE can seem torturous to a small child. Within the first ten blocks or so our car conversation was punctuated by: "Are we almost there?" / "Are we at the movie yet?" / "Is there a potty at the movie because I have to go pee Mommy!" / "I'm hungry!" / "Are we at the movie theater because I want to see the movie."

Arriving at a fancy grocery store, we did the sensible thing and purchased lunch right away. "I want a healthy lunch," my five year old insisted, "I'm going to get a HEALTHY lunch today!" but when he saw his little brother headed for the pizza counter, his tune changed very quickly. "I WANT PEPPERONI! I WANT PEPPERONI PIZZA! PLEEEEEEEEASE MOMMY?" (We compromised on pepperoni pizza *and* a salad with peas and carrots.)

The process of purchasing tickets for the movie reminded me of something I often forget - how small and inexperienced my sons really are. The little one couldn't even see the top of the ticket counter, let alone the man behind it actually selling the tickets. My elder son's eyes bugged out at the top of the escalator, and he nervously asked me for help but it was too late - I was already halfway down the escalator with the little son's hand in mine. "Wait for me there," I called, "I'll come right up for you!"

Before I could act though, he decided to go for it and I held my breath as I watched him put his hand squarely on the handrail, stepping confidently onto the escalator. When he realized that he'd done it and he was actually riding safely down to the bottom, his tense face burst into a radiant smile that could have illuminated the entire shopping mall - "I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!! MOMMMEEEE DID YOU SEE, I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!" His little brother and I cheered.

As we navigated through the crowded theater toward our matinee, I couldn't help but feel proud and lucky. After all, I was flanked on either side by the two handsomest young men in the world, each of whom wanted to hold one of my hands. They were charming and full of witty banter and conversation, continually checking in with me and soliciting my opinion about everything we encountered - "What do you think of that picture mommy? Is that good food mommy? Do you think these seats are nice mommy? Are you excited about the movie mommy?"

My boys insisted that I sit in the middle right between them. When the lights went down for the previews, one son squeezed my hand hard and said, "I love you, mommy". The other son (who is typically less effusive with his affection) actually leaned his head on my shoulder and held my right hand tightly. In the dark, tears formed in my eyes and I said a silent little prayer of gratitude to have shared such a quiet and loving moment with my boys.

The movie was just so-so, certainly not the equal of the Pixar films. As it turns out, garden gnomes are not quite as cute and funny as they seemed in the preview... a lot of the humor seemed intended for adults but none of the adults in the audience were laughing. There was also a significant amount of violence (I hadn't realized how closely the script would stick with the original Romeo and Juliet plotline) and by about ten minutes into the film my three year old was asking if we could go home.

We stuck it out for over an hour, but in one of the more frightening scenes featuring a scary lawnmower the little guy started to cry and it was evident that we needed to end our movie date early.

"But WHY do we have to leave?" the elder one whined, "I *liked* that movie! It was G!!!"

I then gently reminded him of three or so movies that he had insisted that we leave in years past because they were too scary. "Sometimes even movies made for kids can seem really scary for a little person."

"Can we at least get a treat then?" he negotiated.

"Yes, that seems fair." We ended our date with Swiss chocolate divided into squares. Each of my handsome companions threw caution to the wind while rapturously licking chocolate off of their fingertips. They ended up with smudges of chocolate on their cheeks and a glazed over but happy countenance as we began to head for home.

We drove quietly back through the damp afternoon, murmuring to each other but mostly lost in our own thoughts. My boys stared with drooping eyelids out of their windows, their quietude and slower breathing alerting me to the imminence of naptime. Then out of the blue, my little son piped up from the back of the car:

"Mommy?"

"Yes, honey?"

"You know the Juliet gnome? The girl?"

"Yes honey, what about her?"

"I think you are a lot prettier than her mommy."

"Oh sweetie," I blushed happily. "What a wonderful compliment! You boys are the best dates ever."

"Mommy?" the older boy interjected.

"Yes sweetheart?"

"I like going on dates with you. Can we have another date soon?"

"Absolutely."